^^t5too5t-el.78oo8^^
07-11-2008, 01:11 PM
TEACHER: Why are you late?
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
----------------------------------------------------
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!-
---------------------------------------------------
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
----------------------------------------------------
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
----------------------------------------------------
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
----------------------------------------------------
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
----------------------------------------------------
Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."
----------------------------------------------------
Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
----------------------------------------------------
Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
----------------------------------------------------
Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
----------------------------------------------------
At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached a cute 5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks.
"I musta got 'em from my Daddy," said the little girl, "'cause Mommy's still got hers."
----------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
----------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
----------------------------------------------------
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.
----------------------------------------------------
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull are grazing in the field
Teacher : How ?
Student : Ladies first
WEBSTER: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
----------------------------------------------------
TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!-
---------------------------------------------------
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: "HIJKLMNO"!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
----------------------------------------------------
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
----------------------------------------------------
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WILLY: Me!
----------------------------------------------------
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with "I".
ELLEN: I is...
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, "I am."
ELLEN: All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
----------------------------------------------------
Teacher: "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"
Johnny : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime."
----------------------------------------------------
Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
Johnny : "Because George still had the axe in his hand."
----------------------------------------------------
Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
----------------------------------------------------
Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots!
Kirk : Yes it's really strange. I've got another pair of the same at home.
----------------------------------------------------
At a church school gathering, one little old lady approached a cute 5-year-old girl and asked her where she got her good looks.
"I musta got 'em from my Daddy," said the little girl, "'cause Mommy's still got hers."
----------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?
Sam : No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a good cook.
----------------------------------------------------
Teacher: Desmond, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Desmond: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
----------------------------------------------------
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil : A teacher.
----------------------------------------------------
Teacher : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"
Student : A cow and a bull are grazing in the field
Teacher : How ?
Student : Ladies first